are all relationships doomed at the 3 year mark???

butterfly · 2004-02-07 15:19:11

Is it just me or do most relationships seem to end around the end of the three year mark? :?
I have seen it happen with friends and even my last relationship!
Do you think its just a strange coincidence or some kind of universal time limit!
Ive been with my boy for just over a year and we are sooo happy together, but its always there at the back of my mind ......... a little voice saying "yeh its always great in the first year but just wait till the third year!!!"
I dont mean to sound like a pessamist, but Ive just noticed that there seems to be a real pattern to it :shock:
what are your thoughts .....

hunkle · 2004-02-09 06:18:55

Mines broken up at the 2 year mark. It's been 4 almost 5 days since the break-up, so it's still fresh and still hurts.

butterfly · 2004-02-09 07:28:41

ouch, so sorry to hear that babe. It is one of the worst feelings in the world when you break up (well for me it is anyhow)

It amazes me how you really can feel your heart breaking :cry:
And you just become so attached after a few years that its so hard to get it out of your mind.....

hang in there though (and i know everyone will say this!) but it really does get better and In my experiance, when my relationships have broken up in the past I seem to grow so much, and then the next relationship is so much stronger because of it.....

hang in there babe! xxx

bubba · 2004-03-05 01:39:27

I hope not.... Im with my hunny for almost 3 years now (anniversary in april) and we're still going strong....

I know what you mean though, I know a few people who've broken-up at the 3 year mark....

SAHM_of_2 · 2004-03-21 19:15:36

I think it was just bad luck...or coincidence. My husband and I have been married going on six years and knew each other for 3 years before that!! If you really love each other i think u can work through anything. i definitely understand why you would be a lil worried.......but stop thinking about it. (or at least try to) If it is meant to be it will be. Maybe the others didn't work out cuz this one is your soul mate!!!!!!!!!

butterfly · 2004-03-29 01:11:54

wow :shock: 9 years and still going strong! a big thumbs up to you!
Well i have decided that Im going to change my mind and say that I think my relationship is a very 'long term' one....ahhh finaly!

echoe · 2004-04-25 09:36:13

My last relationship lasted just over (by a few weeks) the three year mark.. I broke up with him, but it really was time to end it..

mandi · 2004-05-23 05:59:19

I have been with my man for 7 years and while we dont always get along, like everyone. the good times are just getting better.
I think once you find the right guy things just work, and you dont know when that guy is going to show up, for me it was when i was 16, while that has some disadvantage, it also has heaps of advantages so just enjoy the relationship your in see how far it will last, no-one knows when the ride is over, (a friend of mine is going through a divorce and she's only 24) that made me appreciate what i do have

chococat123 · 2004-10-12 00:09:58

if all r/s are doomed by the 3 yr mark there'd be no marriages beyond 3 yrs, no?
and i've been with mine for over 3yrs. still going well.
although hard to say what it'll be like when i start work next yr and move outta sydney.........

Emmy_whatever · 2004-10-20 08:43:41

I think it usualy just gets harder after a while and people just give up. :bang_head: No point banging your head agenst a brick wall and all that, But if you can both work together through the tough patches then it just gets better! :yay: Some times it's just better to walk away but I think often it's just easer To walk away. And no body ever said relationships where easy!

Emmy :dance1:

chococat123 · 2004-10-21 03:37:43

Emmy_whatever wrote:

I think it usualy just gets harder after a while and people just give up.

hey thats what i think too
the romance and excitement dies coz ppl dont try any more and it becomes ho hum.

lady_of_style · 2004-10-25 22:29:11

I think the significance of the third year is that it is the time when many people break up because they are tired of each other or they are too lazy to try and work things out. If things are great with the guy you're with then you have nothing to worry about, and if things are going to go sour after three years, you will see it coming beforehand.I've been with my bf for almost 3 and a half years now, and it's good. But I think when you get past 3 years it is the sign of a strong relationship.
To make it last there are always little things you can do to help. Always make time in your week to do something special as a couple, even those who live together will find that you are still living two separate lives, so if you reserve a time once a week, say a friday night or a sunday afternoon where all you do is something with each other. It brings you back together (and often will make you think how silly those little fights are). Communication is the key, if you don't say when something is wrong, you'll get to the third year and be quite miserable - then you probably will break up!

sugahunni · 2004-10-26 04:19:04

for me, the boredom, "rut" phase has always occurred a little earlier - about 2 years into relationships. Im not going to write a bit reply because the last time i clicked 'submit' it didnt work

aloquaciousangel · 2004-11-01 03:40:35

ahhh! u guys r sooo lucky.. i haven't lasted longer than 2 months in a relationship *hides* i don't know what it is... i jsut get bored and theres like nothing to talk about after the 1 month mark... is there something wrong with me? lol

but then again, i'm only 18 so i'm pretty inexperienced with the long-term thing...

aloquaciousangel

Morena_Lusitana · 2004-11-02 11:15:12

sorry :oops: double post

emmajade87 · 2004-12-26 14:14:30

well i dont think theres a specific time when a relationship goes sour, if its ment to be it wont end, if it isnt you will eventually get to know that person well enough to know there not for you...
I think deep down you always really know if you truly in that eternal love that makes people so happy, if your honest with yourself and look deep inside youll know

listen to me...im all serious, but ive had afew relationships and my current one i know for sure we will really be together till the end of our time

Babygirl · 2004-12-27 23:10:22

When i started going out with my bf a year and a half ago now, all i did was see him, i forgot about my friends and stopped going out all the time like i used to... i turned into a real boring person, someone i finally realised i didint like nor want to be.
It took me to realise that ,y mobile never rang anymore and i was always bored (as the so called 'honeymoon' period had worn off, and it almost always will)
Then i decided to go and get my life back,
My bf and i are still together but we were so nearly on the war path at around our 8 month mark.

What my point is.... if you want a realtionship to work, then you have to still do everything you used to do, yeah its all fun and new to have that new guy in your life, but dont stop loving your friends and having great nights out with them.

Feeling the way i did when i had lost my friends and life style, is really devistating and that almost ended my love life.... you need to even things up a bit and you are almost certain to stay with that man for longer than 3 years.

kahnjan · 2004-12-28 12:36:59

i don't think so, it is the individuals involved that make or break a relationship!

Babygirl · 2004-12-30 08:40:47

"you dont think so" thats fair enough
This post is about your personal opinons on the '3 year mark'

I posted my output about the subject... thats all there is to it!!

Annalie · 2005-02-14 23:32:45

Jus thought I'd mention something in case anyone was still out there

if a typical relationship that has been smooth and has no valid or extreme reasons for a break-up (ie. cheating, abuse, etc) is going to last past the 3 year mark it's usually between 2 that have made a decision to be committed to each other, chosen to love each other. Love is more a choice and action not a feeling. Feelings will pass and the newness will, at times, not be as new! In my opinion it is no coincidence that alot of couples tend to break up at this point. It is usually the time when someone wants to move on to something that feels fresh and is ..well new again. Definately not a given for all relationships though!!
Everything I've read here is so good about nurturing relationships to keep it exciting and new, so true!!

moonie · 2005-02-16 02:29:22

agree!!!!

only one mints, people could fall in love with any stranger. but after 3 yrs u will finally find how strange he is !

is that amazing?!

cjutson · 2005-05-03 07:29:50

My parents saw each other for seven years. When they got up to the sixth year, they both asked themselves, "where is this going?". :shock: They nearly broke up over it. They just loved being together so much that they forgot the 3 year mark and realised they did it twice over! The seventh year they where together, my dad proposed. 26 years later and they are still together. Having asked my mother how did she know, and hearing that same story over and over again since i was a little girl, I've come to believe that the 3 year mark is a myth. And if you're not prepared, or your significant other isn't prepared to think, "I would do that all over again" after 3 years, well then there is something up.

Summer_girl · 2005-05-03 11:19:36

I don't know... I'll check back with you when I get to the 3 year mark with someone.

Model_Alicia · 2005-05-11 21:58:49

I cant see that being true.
My fiance and I are getting married on August 6th, 2005 which is the day before our 6 year anniversary. :mrgreen:
They dont all end at 3 years, but I have heard many times that the 3 year mark is the hardest to make it past.
Dont worry, you'll make it. Keep your faith up girl!

Alexiel · 2005-05-28 09:13:47

I have never been in a relationship before the one I'm currently having, we've been together for six years and we're still deeply in love 8)

swapstyle.com

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#1 2004-02-07 15:19:11

are all relationships doomed at the 3 year mark???

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Re: are all relationships doomed at the 3 year mark???

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